'I Pooped In A Secret Way’: 27 Funny Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Life With Toddlers

Life with toddlers is a real rollercoaster – one moment they’re telling you they love you, the next they’re mooing at you as you step out of the shower.

Fast forward two hours and they’re prostrate on the floor, screaming at you because you wouldn’t let them lick your shoe.

While they can be pretty harsh sometimes – and totally unreasonable – their brutal honesty and innocent outlook on life often brings plenty of laughs to the table, too.

These tweets sum up just how chaotic life can be with young children – and while we do love a moan as parents, we also know we wouldn’t have it any other way.

1. Where did you hide the poo?!

2. My child loves me... but also pizza.

3. Today in questions you never thought you’d ask yourself: Why is there a car under my back?

4. Hi sweetie. Please stop licking mummy’s face.

5. This parent was probably quite relieved they didn’t get to see their toddler’s carol concert IRL.

6. When your toddler is mad because they can’t do something (that also happens to be impossible)...

7. Get this toddler on The Apprentice.

8. Out of the mouth of babes (and all that).

9. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. But with the word penis. 

10. This two-year-old ran the dishwasher undetected and empty for an entire hour. 

11. Imagine being demoted from Your Majesty to Mom Face. Cruel cruel world.

12. Does anyone else’s toddler run like this?

13. Another reason why toddlers get mad: they can’t eat raw food. 

14. This toddler wanted to go and buy some more milk for boobies. Then things got a bit dark. 

15. Why do all toddlers line up toys like this?

16. Who doesn’t love getting sick 17 times a month?

17. This toddler requested their pear is cut into rectangles and nobody has time for this.  

18. Feelings = hurt.

19. When you find out the nation’s favourite coffee chain doesn’t sell books.

20. We’re just wondering why any parent would do this to themselves?

21. WFH and looking after toddlers is a real hoot (said no one ever).

22. This tweet is perfection.

23. Two going on... 42?

24. Admittedly they can be cute.

25. But then in the next breath they can be stone cold. 

26. This toddler is going places. (Mainly the steakhouse next door.)

27. We’ll just leave this here...

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