58 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends

Second only to family, we tend to think of friends as part of an unbreakable group that will be with us through thick and thin. It’s a topic we celebrate in media, from the somewhat uninspiringly named “Friends” to the more chaotic four in “Seinfeld.” But people change and, more importantly, begin to understand their own worth. With that comes the uncomfortable realization that one’s friends might not actually be a good influence. 

An internet user asked people what caused them to end a relationship with their best friend. So scroll down and be prepared for tales of betrayal, bad judgment, and generally horrible behavior. Be sure to upvote the most relatable stores and comment your own experiences.

More info: Reddit 


His wife cheated on him. I was the bad guy for trying to let him know.

Image credits: Wyrdbro


My best friend (kinda my only friend) stopped talking to me from one day to another. Never was able to get in contact with him again. Didn't respond to calls or texts, wasn't home when I showed up, nothing.

I still don't know if I did something wrong or what his motivation was.

It's been just over 4 years now. Still sucks at times.

Image credits: Captain_Meekus


Choosing men over her family and close friends, disappearing to another state at the drop of a hat with no way to be contacted, oh and meth.

Image credits: Baggle-Me-Fingies

As social creatures, we really do want to have friends around. Sharing experiences, toys or advice are all useful things we get out of having a social circle we can rely on. Besides social support, there is evidence that having a few friends actually helps a child develop empathy and problem-solving skills. It doesn’t actually take much for younger children to become friends, beyond some shared activities. Just turning up to school in the same t-shirt as another kid could be enough.

But, on the topic of losing friends, relationships formed very young tend not to last that long. Often, they are based on circumstances, which change and shared interests, which also change rapidly for younger children. It’s only in one’s teenage years that stronger, longer-lasting friendships start to form. Let’s face it, being a teen isn’t the most enjoyable period of time, so having a buddy helps. And when two or more people go through some uncomfortable experiences together, it creates a sense of solidarity.


He kept not showing up when we said we'd meet somewhere. No call, no text, nothing.

Image credits: ThisActuator3213


She became a mom martyr. The clincher was when I told her I was assaulted at work by a full grown man covered in poop and she responded " well that happens to me daily and nobody pays me" Her oldest was seven.

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Went on a mini-vaca (was supposed to be 4 days) with my best friend in 2021 to NJ, she brought her (then) 8yr old son, I brought my (then) 4 yr old daughter. Her son was so disrespectful, swearing, nasty attitude and so mean to my daughter the entire trip. The last straw was on the morning of the 3rd day when he ripped a box of cereal out of my daughter's hand, she started crying and he slapped her across her head. I tried disciplining him and my friend blew up at me and proceeded to DEFEND her son, as she called my daughter a "whiny baby". We started arguing, I packed our bags and said we're leaving. I drove 4 hours home without saying a single word to her or her son. Got to her house, threw her bags on her front lawn and peeled out of her driveway.

Image credits: Leesh_26

Adults tend to find new friends in the workplace, which comes with its own set of limitations. One might feel a bit warier about how they act around a coworker and it can be hard to draw the line between networking and just enjoying time together. Most people go to work to earn a living, few see it as a great place to just hang out and make friends. While at school, it's pretty normal for pupils to commiserate and discuss how much they want to be elsewhere, adults are burdened with the knowledge of taxes and bills.


My 16 yr old sister got me tickets to the Harry Potter exhibit in New York City when I was 13. Spent her own money on it for two tickets. Me and her. My best friend found out and through a fit to her mother that “ She should be going because she is a bigger fan” and the mother messaged my sister to tell her to give her ticket to her daughter because “ It’s the right thing to do” My sister told her to f**k off and told me immediately

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He got a girlfriend, so less time for me. After a few years I got home and saw them moving stuff out (We lived in the same apartment, different floor). They never said anything to me at all, no hint. They just left, not even a card or an invitation. That was the end of the friendship.

Image credits: MiJo1987


He told my entire group of friends (and a lot of non-friends) at a party that I told him I was gay, before I got a chance to tell them myself.

Image credits: crocobar

Even counting outside-of-work friends, adults tend to struggle to find relationships like the ones they potentially had as teenagers. Partially, it’s logistics, since older teens have the physical energy and free time to be spontaneous and have adventures. As an adult, the idea of even staying up past two in the morning makes me want to take a sick day. The result is that many adults just do not have as many friends as they would want. In the West, the average number is just two. So all those sitcoms, from Friends to Seinfeld all represented some sort of aspirational social position. 


I didn't realise that slowly, over twenty years, she'd basically turned me into her own personal therapist.

Every single day, almost 24/7, she'd be calling and texting, expecting me to sort out every single one of her problems, and validate her s****y, hurtful behaviour.

Then one day at the end of last year, I got into an accident that left me hospitalised. Whilst I was mostly fine functionally, I had a lot of scarring and was told that I might need a skin graft surgery later down the line, depending on how it healed.

And my best friend since we were 11 didn't even ask how I was. Not *once*, not for two whole months. The only time she acknowledged that I was even injured was when she said, "that's a bad way to start the morning" when I told her that I was in A&E.

She just... didn't care.

And once I realised that, walking away was easy. Haven't missed her at all, best decision I ever made.


My mental health.
It got too much to handle and they backed out.
I absolutely understand this, but man..that hurt

Image credits: Sternchensuppe


My old friend since elementary school started slowly pushing his political and religious views onto me as we got older. He was a Christian conservative, I was an agnostic independent. Eventually he gave me an ultimatum, either fully agree with him and join his church, or be considered his enemy. So I ended the friendship. Religion and politics can ruin any friendship, no matter how great.

Image credits: Orion43410

There are other psychological issues that can also cause problems. Did you know that most people probably like you more than you think? While it’s hard to generalize, many friendships struggle to take off because one or both of the parties thinks the other doesn’t like them as much. This is called the liking gap, where a person decides that a new acquaintance does not really like them, so to avoid looking needy, they won’t pursue a friendship or relationship. Now, as you might have guessed, this is a false emotion, as many people underestimate their likability. But the result is simply fewer friendships. 


She told me I was her best friend, but didn’t put me in her wedding party. But continued to ask me for wedding styling advice for her bridesmaids. It all stung but I got over it. She also told me she needed me at her bachelorette and I was helping her brainstorm ideas.

We talked daily. One morning we talked like normal and that evening I saw posts of her on her bachelorette. We’d been best friends since HS, she had a girl she’d only known for 6 months on the trip with her. Her response when I asked about it? “Oh someone surprised me with it sorry you’re upset”

Blocked her and haven’t looked back (and I’ve been a bridesmaid for better friends multiple times since ?)

Image credits: AnxiousBlob8


He got a DUI while driving my car and then lied about it and lied about why my car was towed. He lied about losing his license (suddenly he just wanted to walk everywhere for the exercise). He lied to my friends and told them it was my fault cuz registration had lapsed.

When I finally confronted him about it he kept lying.

Image credits: Automatic-Pick-2481


The friend found Jesus. That put a strain on the friendship because finding Jesus apparently means you have to try to convince everyone else to find him too. Repeatedly.

Image credits: 99droopy

To be clear, it is important to differentiate types of friendship. Like ships, houses, and organizations, not all friendships are created equal. As many of the stories here describe, it’s possible to be friends with a person who actively makes your life worse. Once you have had a friend for long enough, you tend to think of the position as natural and might avoid wondering why you don’t really enjoy being around this person. Sometimes people justify it with thoughts like “bad friends are better than no friends.” Maybe this is true, but the aforementioned benefits of having a friend tend to only apply to what researchers call high-quality friendships


She got together with her now fiance and he is so controlling. He cut her off from everyone and now she has no friends. She slowly cut off all contact even over text and now when I see her at the gym with him she doesn't even wave. Her maid of honor is one of her fiance's girl friends.

Image credits: CrispyCrunchyPoptart


I stopped being the first one to reach out every time. Never heard a word from them again.

Image credits: Giraffe-Electronic


Asked to borrow money (~$3000) and told me not to ask for what, not because they needed help and trusted me but because I “had a decent job and could spare some”. Badgered me that I needed to send this money within 24 hours and kept repetitively asking when the money was ready. I was worried it was a medical emergency so I insisted they tell me why. No response except for “hurry up with the money.” Turns out they got scammed but that ended our friendship really quickly…money ruins relationships…fast.

Edit: wow I’m sorry to hear all of you having similar experiences. Thanks for hearing me out.

Image credits: icanmakeyoufamous

While the idea of a high-quality friendship is somewhat subjective, it tends to involve reciprocity. Both parties trust each other, there generally isn’t much bullying and one party isn’t constantly the victim of the other’s mental or social issues. Unfortunately, loneliness is also a pretty real concern for many adults, who would prefer to be stood up by so-called friends rather than have no friends at all. Like finding a new job before one quits, studies show that it can be less scary to “quit” a bad friend if you have a new friend lined up. And if you want to read some more accounts about why friendships ended, check out our other article here.


He f****d a mutual friend’s wife. Confided in me that it was happening. I told him he had to end it and come clean. Instead of doing the right thing he started lying to me about it. long story short, I ended our friendship of over 15 years.

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He's doing 9 years in prison now. That kinda put a damper on the friendship.

Image credits: Enthusiastic-shitter


She slept with my fiancee two weeks before the wedding in my bed

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He tried to exploit my father's death to convert me to Christianity.

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when i realised i was basically this persons free therapist and we saw each other a lot, evrything was a moan-fest! caused me way more stress and misery than happyness. blamed his wife wanting a divorce on me, said he wrote a book about how bad a friend i have been, so i asked why he keeps contacting me if im so bad, i said iv had enough of your s**t, never contact me again.

Image credits: bretty666


Unhealthy friendship dynamic. She always wanted/needed my approval and when I’d be honest about the fact she f****d up- she’d tell me what a terrible friend I was. She could never take responsibility for her actions. F****d and f****d over every person she knew. Lied about everything and burned every bridge she made. The down side is that she was FUN AS HELL! My favorite outdoor adventure partner. And we’d been besties from our 20’s into 40’s. But damn, time to grow the f**k up, ya know?

Image credits: evolkitty


When I realized all we had in common was binge drinking. No support when it came to attempts to cut back. Instead they got irritated when I didn’t want to go to the bars. I kept saying no and explaining I wanted to avoid situations with drinking. One guy said you can’t be part of “our” friend group if you don’t like going out drinking as some sort of intimidation tactic

Image credits: Minimum_Asparagus_60


Renting an apartment together.

NEVER live with friends, folks. BECOME friends with people you live with.

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Bullying, basically.

I realized that all that "good-natured ribbing" over time was really more malicious than good natured, and that I was the outlet for his own insecurities.

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The way they talked about my partner. How they were self centered. How certain things have changed for the worse in my life since spending more time with them. The guilt tripping and pressure

Image credits: Royal-Orchid-2494


Started to drink. A LOT. Then started to hang with people who constantly made fun of him, but hanged with him because he supplied a f**k ton of alcool. He was going out to bars everyday. He then started to talk s**t about my GF (now wife). Telling everybody that she was trash and the reason I wouldn't go out with to bars him. Also, I was a f*****g pussy not doing so.

The reason I wouldn't go out with him was because he was a f*****g thrash of a man. I tried to help him and he turned me down HARD. Also I was working full time and going to college.

F**k you Bobby.


Life got in the way and we drifted apart.

Image credits: chadwroberts


Loaned him $250k to pursue his real estate dream and six months later he ghosted me; ignored about 50 emails/texts/calls/postcards and two certified letters. Infuriating!! He also stopped paying real estate taxes on it without telling me. I lived across the country so extremely hard to manage the resolution. I eventually got all the money back but no help from him.

I think we could have still been fine if he had kept communicating, and acknowledged the errors. But in a call to patch things up he admitted only to the taxes part, not to all the asshat sh*t. I had known him since college, like 30 years. Sheesh


It was my last year in a country I previously lived in and at the time it was during summer vacation where we normally spend it in our home country. We had to cut our vacation short because we got a phone call telling us that our house had gotten broken into and robbed. We came back and on that day and he was talking to me telling me he saw cops by our house and he hopes everything is OK. It was horrible with everything stolen, furniture destroyed, closets torn down and fully emptied. My family decided to accelerate the transfer from that country and there was that. A year later he messages me a long e-mail explaining how sorry he was and that he was responsible for it and that his friends were the perpetrators and that he knew who did it but didn’t want to expose them. When we showed the police the e-mail and they questioned him it turned out he was part of that group as well.


Lots of little s**t that eventually just pissed me off enough to where I told him to F off.

For example, 7-8 years ago, he bought 15 tickets for a midnight premier of Jurassic World for our entire friends group to attend.

The day of the show, he texted me to tell me that he forgot to buy "my" ticket, so I couldn't go. Of the 15 he bought, how did he decide it was "my" ticket that he didn't buy? Turns out, he gave my ticket to a girl he met the week prior so he could take her with instead.

That was just one of many things where he f****d me.

It's all truly minor stuff like that, but when you have 100 minor things, it becomes clear that they aren't actually your friend anymore.

Image credits: alwaysmyfault


he wanted to be a rapper and he was terrible

Image credits: anon


I had a friend that was with me since we were three years old. Let’s call him “John”. About ten years later, we’re going to this youth camp together. I’m so excited that John’s coming with me. But he seems….different. There’s another friend coming along with him, and now John is constantly avoiding me. This went on for about a day at the camp…before the avoidance turned into being toxic. He was constantly insulting me.

At some point, I had a panic attack at the camp (not related to John being a jerk and all) and here’s how our conversation went, with a few other friends watching:

John: So where even were you last night?? You weren’t at the dorm.
Me: I had a panic attack, so I was told to sleep somewhere else. I dunno why..
John: Oh, so you have mental issues. Haha.

Later, as I was playing with another friend that I had met at the camp, John came over to me with his other friend. The new friend that I was playing with said:

“Oh, are you one of his friends too, John?”
John: Nah, he thinks we’re friends but I’m just forced to watch him all the time.

That was the last straw. I was done talking to him from that point on.

But then, weeks later, I received a call from John. I picked up, and he was just talking to me as if he had never been mean to me. Ever. He was just talking about some random c**p about Minecraft. I just mumbled some “ok”’s and went on with my day, confused. I decided to call him later, and I confronted him about what happened at the camp. He said he never said any of those things. I said I’m pretty sure he did. He said “I was just kidding about the mental issues thing”. He denied that he ever said the stuff about not being my friend though. Throughout the entire call, he never apologized. And the worst part is, I almost believed him. I almost thought that I was just hearing things, and that maybe John was a good friend after all. Keep in mind I wasn’t very matured yet, despite my age. So I just…sort of…..continued thinking of him as a friend. But as I *did* mature, I just started cutting my contacts with him, and we never spoke again.


His girlfriend. His gf got mad at him for being at my birthday party. He was my best buddy ever since 2nd grade, my parents and even my grandparents adored him. The day after my birthday i got a call from him. I could hear her voice in the background, he was so loud telling me to delete all the photos we took on my birthday and cut ties with him. She made him block me on everywhere and i was sad for some weeks. I'm still tearing up typing this. I was the first one he opened about his relationship with. I used to ask how she is everytime i see or call him. I've tried to be friends with her but she didn't care. The thing is that he has other female bestfriends too but she has a problem with me. And that too we don't see often after graduating cause of the distance and don't text or call often cause of our studies. It was after months i got to see him at my birthday. I miss him but i have to respect their relationship


Not best but recently a close friend sorta just stopped talking to me, think it hurt more because I have no idea what I did.

About 4 years ago I lost a few people I thought were close friends. Turned out they didn't actually like me at all, they just felt bad for me and also used me.

Moral of the story? Never act like someones friend because you feel bad for them. it just causes more harm and doesn't help them


Became Maga and used the n-word on a group text. Was entirely unrepentant about it. Wouldn't listen to any dislike of what he said, ever.


I was told I couldn't have children after years of wanting nothing more than to be a mother. Even with this knowledge my former bff told me one day that I could never know what love really was because I didn't have kids. I realized that day just how toxic, abusive, and one sided our friendship had always been and cut her from my life.
Turns out the drs were wrong and I'm currently 5 months pregnant with my first child at 40. So yay for happy endings!


Our mothers were best friends, so ended up being best friends too from the time we were kids. Things took a drastic turn when we turned 16, she would make unwanted advances on me when no one was looking. I had explicitly told her I do not feel comfortable with this and gotten angry. She would stop then, only to try again another day. We were writing an exam and she thought it was a good idea to feel me up. I got up, packed my bags, turned in my paper - said f**k you, slammed the door and never looked at her again.


They died


Her extreme political views. They kept getting more extreme as time went on. It got to the point where all she did was gripe and complain about it. She'd turn any conversation political and even got to the point where she would randomly send me bogus articles to support her claims. I eventually got to the point where I had to do what was best for me and break off contact.


My depression chased him away, I stressed him too much.


My best friend in high school started getting into drugs and hanging with the burnout kids.

I distanced myself from her and she started trying to spread false rumors about me because she was mad.

One day at lunch on the cafeteria, she came up behind me, picked up my tray (that had fries, nuggets and two big puddles of ketchup and bbq sauce) and smacked me across the face with it.

I immediately got up and set up in a fighting stance. She tried to lunge at me, so I did what any normal petite high school girl would have done… I side kicked her so hard in her abdomen that she fell back and got laid out on a lunch table.

Thank goodness I had endured years of fighting my older brother and male cousins, lol.

Anyway, years later I ran into her. She had taken up boxing :) .


Childhood friends since 1st grade essentially grew up together so you think we would have very similar morals and standards but right after having his 2nd kid at 19 he became emotionally abusive and eventually physically abusive towards them for about a couple months eventually he was arrested for domestic violence and she was hospitalized for a broken nose and fractured orbital bone.

I felt so f*****g guilty I didn't noticed any of the abuse the times I was over and just such shame that he was my closest friend still bothers me years later.

Story has a relatively happy ending though his ex gf became my new best friend and now i call her my wife :)


I was getting married and they lived over an hour away and got mad that I was no longer calling them to talk for 3+ hours at a time. I was in college full-time, work part time and planning a wedding. She felt neglected.


I realized the only person putting effort in to maintain our friendship was me. If I didn't start a conversation, we didn't speak at all.

I stopped starting conversations. At first, I was just wondering how long it would take her to reach out. She never did. And I'm glad, because now that I'm not breaking my back trying to prop up our friendship, I realize how little I really got from it. I realized that I was always the one trying to mend fences and apologize when we fought, while she apologized for nothing. I've realized it's not normal to expect a nasty fight with your best friend once a month. And I feel so goddamn *free*.

I've moved on. I've made new friends and deepened other friendships. At this point, even if she did reach out and apologize (she won't), I wouldn't want anything to do with her.


Her cousin made a pass at me while I was visiting her. The cousin was in a long-term, committed relationship at the time. I never saw or spoke to the cousin before or after the pass he made at me. He kissed me out of nowhere that one night.

My bff called me a week later because the cousin dumped his gf and had asked my bff if she could call me and connect us. She blamed me for ruining her cousin’s relationship and life. She was angry at me. We never spoke again.


One of my childhood best friends made me and another girl her servants, she literally called us servants and would make us walk behind her and do all her work. Next school year came and she just straight up ignored us. Safe to say if I see her again I'm punching that b***h right in her self-centered face


He transitioned and she wanted new friends of her own, not his old ones, so I was pushed out after 20 years. She reaches out every once in a while now to say hi, and we are cordial, but despite understanding the desire to make new friends who have only known her as a woman, it still hurt, so there's no friendship left there, just perfunctory geniality.


She married my ex lol. To be clear, this was a boy I dated for two months in high school, they were well into their thirties when they got together. I could not have given less of a f**k. Was happy for them even. He, however, apparently has hated me ever since we broke up in the tenth grade, and pushed me right out of her life. It would have made me sad if it wasn’t so pathetically hilarious.


Whenever we went out, he would hide himself if any of his other friends or our mates were around. I didn't mind it in the beginning. Later I found out he would talk s**t about me with others so that they won't be friends with me either and spread rumors about me. When a date basically got me drunk and tried to do things he blamed me for acting like a victim. His mom had passed away from cancer recently so I didn't pick up any fight or anything but soon afterwards I cut him out of my life anyway.


Started dating my now fiancé, she wasn't happy at all, called him gross and asked why we were together. Then we got into an argument over a class assignment where we were in different teams and she thought I was personally attacking her (it was on a topic so irrelevant to us that neither of us actually cared about) and she wouldn't talk to me until I apologized. Then I realized, anytime we argued over the dumbest s**t, it was always her getting mad at me and giving me the silent treatment until I apologized. So I just never did. Oh and a mutual friend and I didn't figure out until recently that whenever one of us were interested in someone, she would date them for like a week and then say we couldn't date them because she already did (this was in our middle school and high school days). And my fiancé told me she tried to get with him before we dated and he turned her down because he wasn't interested. Sometimes I miss her, but then I remember, my life is stressful enough and I don't need her nonsense added to it.


We grew apart as we got older. He changed into a very angry and very bitter person. I tried my best to be there for him and to encourage him during the challenges he faced in life, but our friendship eventually fell apart.


Met them at a work HH they wanted me to come to. Uber'd home with them (we lived next door to each other) and she went on a wild racist rant after seeing the African American Museum while under construction in Washington DC. The rant carried on for a bit and was absolutely wild. I called her the next day and said I couldn't be friends with those kinds of views. She said she was drunk, didn't mean it, and I was overreacting.


Roommate/friend used to let his dog pee all over the house and my stuff without even trying to clean it or apologize for his dog p**s. Stopped talking to him after getting tired of it


I'm lucky to say, all the best friendships I've had that have ended because our lives just grew in different directions. They are wonderful people whom I love and always will love very much.


It turned out he is a c**t

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